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Springboard Modules we WON'T be seeing...


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bblue
Member

Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Prison
Posts: 421

SCOOP!

Word has just leaked out about some Springboard modules that WON'T be making it to store shelves! Attached are the pics!

The first one, is of the VaporJam, by (name I cannot pronounce) known here as T-JAM� Industries! The VaporJam was known for it's ability to become a digital camera, and mp3 player, and a cell phone all in ONE EXTRA-ordinary module! (Requires extra T-Jam Chips to do all of the above, sold seperately.) The cool ice color (enhanced by that snazzy blue backdrop) shows just how cool it would have looked. However, the CEO of T-JAM� recently died of a nasty fall down the stairs, and the company has been sold to the makers of low-quality tricycles.

Pardon my poor graphic editing abilities, I used the most basic paint program on the planet. Got any more? Please reply!

Hope this lightened y'all up.

More soon!

Attachment: vaporjam.jpg
This has been downloaded 637 time(s).

__________________
"Sorry about the whole thing about losing your life savings, but that Palmpilot is property of Enron, so please give it back"

05-01-2001 03:15 AM

bblue
Member

Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Prison
Posts: 421

The Springphone!

The second, is the SpringPhone� , which allows for the full annoyance of a Cell phone, without:

Roaming Charges
Monthly Bills
Limited Coverage
Bulky Size
High cost!!

AutoDetect senses when you enter movie theaters, high-class restaraunts, and presidential inagurations, and picks the right ring tone (Bagpipe, High-Shrill, Regular) to get the MAXIMUM annoyance out of your victims!

However, the SpringPhone was cancelled after the company decided to "focus on networking solutions proactively in a win-win scenario paradigm"

bummer.

--

Attachment: springphone.jpg
This has been downloaded 412 time(s).

__________________
"Sorry about the whole thing about losing your life savings, but that Palmpilot is property of Enron, so please give it back"

05-01-2001 03:16 AM

bkbk
Member

Registered: Jun 2000
Location:
Posts: 594

Pretty hilarious. I'd like to see some kind of "vapor-cloud" logo or something (or maybe just a "module made of mist") for the 1st one.
A riot though ... keep up the good work!

__________________
"Great Spirits Have Always Encountered Violent Opposition From Mediocre Minds." -- Albert Einstein

05-01-2001 04:23 AM

yaz320
Member

Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 102

The idiot strike again. Don't you have anything better to do?

I can't believed I wasted those 20 seconds coming here, and another 10 typing this.

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<img src="http://www.msnbc.com/d/v/130x100/n_bush_accept_001213.jpg">

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05-01-2001 04:41 AM

Matthew Nichols
Member

Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 714

Oh man, that was hilarious

How but we get these fricken huge images & text out of the sigs? I think thats what the avatars were enabled for people...

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Matt Nichols
[email protected]

05-01-2001 06:32 AM

bblue
Member

Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Prison
Posts: 421

And here's one from SONY!

Well, we all know there are people here who LOVE Sony's garbage. However, many people simply couldn't shell out the money necessary to buy the flimsy "Clie," so Sony ALMOST came out with a solution! The MemoryChip� adapter, which lets you connect any Sony MemoryStick� to your Visor! Look at all of these features:::

�Can't play Mp3's, it only allows for unsupported Media types, and that would only work if your handheld HAD a speaker.

�Can't run Apps. (Memory protection)

�Can't store Apps. (Read Only)

�Can't be accessed by your HandHeld

�Can't store any sort of HandHeld file (Read Only)

�Does not allow for MemoryStick expansion options (Camera... uh.... Mp3 player, etc.)

Sony cancelled it after they ran out of a necessary parts shortages for their PS2, and melted down all of the manufactured MemoryChip� modules and used them towards the building of that cool retractable cup-holder in the PS2.
----
Submit your own! These are all one images, so you must download it onto your 'puter before cropping/distorting it.

(Yaz320's mad because he's a Sony loyalist, well, this should cheer him/her/it up!)

Attachment: memorychip.jpg
This has been downloaded 320 time(s).

__________________
"Sorry about the whole thing about losing your life savings, but that Palmpilot is property of Enron, so please give it back"

05-01-2001 10:11 PM

aquaboy
Member

Registered: Mar 2001
Location:
Posts: 43

Are you sure it's not by Innogear? Now you see it.........

05-01-2001 10:47 PM

bkbk
Member

Registered: Jun 2000
Location:
Posts: 594

These last 2 posts are best of all! Keep 'em comin!

__________________
"Great Spirits Have Always Encountered Violent Opposition From Mediocre Minds." -- Albert Einstein

05-02-2001 03:09 AM

Jeromel
Member

Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Taiwan
Posts: 5

I am in Taiwan, is that true?? I doubt that is a joke. I will ask the friends on TWPUG.

05-02-2001 04:58 AM

EricG
Member

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Alive and well on VisorCentral.com
Posts: 861

Re: And here's one from SONY!

quote:
Originally posted by bblue
Well, we all know there are people here who LOVE Sony's garbage. However, many people simply couldn't shell out the money necessary to buy the flimsy "Clie," so Sony ALMOST came out with a solution! The MemoryChip� adapter, which lets you connect any Sony MemoryStick� to your Visor! Look at all of these features:::

�Can't play Mp3's, it only allows for unsupported Media types, and that would only work if your handheld HAD a speaker.

�Can't run Apps. (Memory protection)

�Can't store Apps. (Read Only)

�Can't be accessed by your HandHeld

�Can't store any sort of HandHeld file (Read Only)

�Does not allow for MemoryStick expansion options (Camera... uh.... Mp3 player, etc.)

Sony cancelled it after they ran out of a necessary parts shortages for their PS2, and melted down all of the manufactured MemoryChip� modules and used them towards the building of that cool retractable cup-holder in the PS2.
----
Submit your own! These are all one images, so you must download it onto your 'puter before cropping/distorting it.

(Yaz320's mad because he's a Sony loyalist, well, this should cheer him/her/it up!)

And don't forget to add they are "Digitally Secure" for your convenience.

__________________
"One of the most important things you learn from the internet is that there is no �them� out there. It�s just an awful lot of �us�." -- Douglas Adams

05-02-2001 05:02 AM

Vinny
Member

Registered: Mar 2000
Location: NC, Indiana
Posts: 465

LOL! Those were hilarious. They were a very good use of 20 seconds if you ask me. Keep up the good work!

__________________
-Vincent

05-03-2001 02:17 AM

pusfarm
Member

Registered: Oct 2000
Location:
Posts: 72

quote:
Originally posted by bkbk
These last 2 posts are best of all! Keep 'em comin!

That ain't nothin'. Another one that got shelved recently was the HandCuffSpring EyeSpyModule. It was designed to auto-detect suspicious criminal-types [i.e., humans], snap their pictures and then upload the pics to local law enforcement on the next HotSync or via wireless modem. From there, the perp could be tracked down and picked up for questioning and taken off the street [without the annoying Miranda or probable cause requirements thanks to a licensing agreement with the AG], where he could not cause further suspicion. It also was to keep stats you could share via IR with other p'noids.

05-03-2001 07:39 AM

bkbk
Member

Registered: Jun 2000
Location:
Posts: 594

More solid gold!
Jeez, I think we have the makings of a 1st-rate cable access show here somewhere....

__________________
"Great Spirits Have Always Encountered Violent Opposition From Mediocre Minds." -- Albert Einstein

05-04-2001 02:03 AM

bblue
Member

Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Prison
Posts: 421

:-D

Hehe! I really like that one! Would love to see some pictures!

The rest of y'all submit some too! NOW! Now I say!

----

My VDX arrived! Woohoo!

__________________
"Sorry about the whole thing about losing your life savings, but that Palmpilot is property of Enron, so please give it back"

05-04-2001 02:05 AM

bblue
Member

Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Prison
Posts: 421

And HERE'S one from da Big HS!

After the brisk popularity of the Visor Edge, Jeff Hawkins� announced that Handspring would need to expand it's current product line. Supposedly, the marketing dept. took his word wrong, and created the EdgeBoard� , which would add the look and feel of the Visor Edge ... but nothing more... and only for your Springboard slot.

But it comes in 3 colors, Blue, Silver, and Red, just like a REAL Visor EDGE, and is made out of high-quality brushed plastique�.

Jeff Hawkins admitedly said in a private press-conference later that week: "Damn those fools, they are terribly incompetent at what they do! I SAID I wanted one in GREEN , not SILVER!"

However, it was fully scrapped when HandSpring realized nobody was going to pay $349.00 with a $50.00 mail-in rebate for this module instead of a REAL Visor Edge.

Attachment: vedge.jpg
This has been downloaded 293 time(s).

__________________
"Sorry about the whole thing about losing your life savings, but that Palmpilot is property of Enron, so please give it back"

05-06-2001 03:41 AM

bblue
Member

Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Prison
Posts: 421

The possible replacement for the SoundsGood!

When the original SoundsGood� Audio Player came out, it was named after the description of its performance. However, because it was expensive at the time, GOOD TECHNOLOGY� started working on a more downscale version of it's Mp3 player. The Result? The SoundsBad Audio Player.� The problem? Such a name would certainly not sell, unless it would use some acronym ala' Sony. (Clie, Vega, Aibo, Vaio? What the hell?) And concerned about it's reputation, Soundsgood spun-off the company BAD TECHNOLOGY�. However, many of it's early buyers were dissapointed when they found out it wasn't good on their Sony� cards. "When I saw the quality, I immediately thought... BINGO! I'd love a Sony player for my Handspring!" said an anonymous shopper. The company went out of business when they lost too much money disposing of the left earphone peices they had to manually cut off.

Attachment: soundsbad.jpg
This has been downloaded 254 time(s).

__________________
"Sorry about the whole thing about losing your life savings, but that Palmpilot is property of Enron, so please give it back"

05-07-2001 03:45 AM

marcerika
Member

Registered: May 2001
Location:
Posts: 3

New Module!

I have found out about a "Top Secret" module that has been in development for months now. Seems that Visor owners have been complaining that the modules currently out were innovative and fun - But could you use them in your everyday life? Well this company heard your voices loud and clear!

Announcing the first Handspring Module your Grandpa could use.

Last edited by marcerika on 05-08-2001 at 01:14 AM

05-07-2001 11:20 PM

bblue
Member

Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Prison
Posts: 421

Hehe :)

Hehehe! Like that one alot!

__________________
"Sorry about the whole thing about losing your life savings, but that Palmpilot is property of Enron, so please give it back"

05-08-2001 01:06 AM

bkbk
Member

Registered: Jun 2000
Location:
Posts: 594

More very funny stuff.
"Vedge" gave me an idea, which I'll extemporaneously (today's snappy vocab. word, eh?) expound upon right here and now (Ack, what alliteration, Batman!):
A stuffed-cabage, maybe, wedged into the back of the Visor.
(Hey, I'm makin' this up as I go, man, backoff!)
Uh ... and it ... uh ... turns into a blender and makes vegetable juice?
Eh ... gee, I'm beginning to think that maybe not everyone has a talent for this...

__________________
"Great Spirits Have Always Encountered Violent Opposition From Mediocre Minds." -- Albert Einstein

05-08-2001 05:21 AM

Winchell
Member

Registered: Oct 1999
Location: Baltimore MD, USA
Posts: 717

Are you an FBI agent, CIA operative, or some other member of the Intelligence Community who routinely carries kilobytes of sensitive information inside one's Handspring Visor?

Be safe, not sorry! Don't let your Visor be caught dead without the Dead-Sure*C-cure� springboard!

If your Visor falls into the hands of agents of hostile governments the Dead-Sure*C-cure� will seal that security breach pronto. The first time they enter an incorrect password into your Visor, they will discover that the Dead-Sure*C-cure� springboard is a solid block of military grade C-4 plastic explosive!

Your capture data will be instantly vaporized, along with most of the hostile agent.

And any attempt to remove the Dead-Sure*C-cure� will prompt the same rude surprise.

(The Dead-Sure company will not be held liable for accidents caused by registered users with poor Graffiti skills)

Last edited by Winchell on 05-12-2001 at 03:23 PM

05-08-2001 02:30 PM

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