BobbyMike
Member
Registered: Dec 1999
Location: "Children are a gift from God, they are a reward"
Posts: 1049 |
Get busy for a couple of days and see what happens!
Originally posted by bkbk :
"[...] I tend to fall back on John Gray's "Mars & Venus" materials [...]"
Then answered by Toby:
"The idea behind Gray's book is flawed, though. It ignores one simple thing. Yes, men and women on average are different, but not all men are the same and not all women are the same."
I agree with you, Toby, on this one. The book makes some valid observations that work in GENERAL, but following the info slavishly can lead to assumption (and we all know what happens when anyone assumes!). People have always tried to "box" others in based on gender, race, sexual persuasion, time of birth, etc. It could be because we're lazy as a rule (that means in general), or because we like to secretly "go against the grain" and need boundaries to push against. Another answer is that people generally like to have things explained to them, you know, how and why things work.
Back to the "sin" of pornography. If you're a Christian, utilizing porn is a sin (one among many), if you're not a Christian I can't say what it is. If you later come to Christ after any sin, your past is forgotten and you start you life anew. It's pretty much useless to tell someone that they're "bad", or sinning. Many people who wear the title of Christian on their shirts seem to forgot that as Christians we're not supposed to judge one another (remember the woman being stoned for being a prostitute- those weren't Christians doing the stoning, Jesus was pretty peeved about it and said "... let who among you that has not sinned throw the first stone...). Long and short of it is that if you're a Christian and you focus on what everybody is doing wrong, you're not abiding by the words of Jesus. Hard to be a Christian and not follow Christ. (BTW, I once had a "Christian" tell me that he "followed the Old Testament word by word, but didn't have much use for the New Testament, because it was too easy on people...", I was so stunned by that I couldn't even reply!)
Porn use in a relationship is a thorny issue. If both parties agree it's a good thing, I guess that it's a non-issue. Usually someone doesn't like it so it can be a problem in several ways- someone hides their use (shame, shame, shame!) or someone is unhappy (pain, pain, pain!).
If you feel the need to hide part of yourself from others, what does that say? That you're a hypocrite? That you're afraid? That society is rigid and doesn't allow for too many differences? I can't say I know the answer to that.
For my part I have had girlfriends that "clicked" sexually with me in every way (and mostly that was the extent of the deepness of the relationship), but I stuck with the woman that "completed" me in every other way. Sure it can be frustrating to not want to do things at the same time (not just sex!), but that's part of being in a relationship. I've heard it said before, and I believe it to be true - If there is no conflict in a relationship, someone is superfluous. Relationships are all about conflict resolution. (if you're childless and single, I'll understand your disbelief)
Bkbk wrote:
"Prob. the saddest fact of LIFE is that it's pretty obvious that the genders DO NOT DESIRE SEX EQUALLY."
I hope you're not serious about that. I can think of alot of worse things then thwarted sexual desire.
__________________
"I am a debtor both to Greeks and to Barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish."
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It's one of the Palm-sized shots I recently took w/my buddy's Prism.)
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Re: Woazza!!
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