GSR13
Member
Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 708 |
 The Day God Made Police Officers
I was digging through some of my old documents trying to clean up some space and came across this. Got it several years ago, but thought some folks might enjoy it. It is a bit long, but I enjoy it.
Subject: The day God made police officers
When the LORD was creating police officers, he was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And the LORD said, "Have you read the spec on this order?" "A police officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale walls, enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle his uniform." "He has to be able to sit in an undercover car all day long on a stakeout, cover a homicide scene that night, canvass the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day. He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black coffee and half-eaten meals. And he has to have six pair of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pair of hands...no way." "It's not the hands that are causing me problems, said the LORD, it's the three pair of eyes an officer has to have."
"That's the standard model?� asked the angel. The LORD nodded. "One pair that sees through a bulge in the pocket before he asks, "May I see what's in their sir?" (When he already knows and wishes he'd taken that accounting job), another pair here in the side of his head for his partners safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at a bleed victim and say, "You'll be all right ma'am", when he knows it isn't so."
"LORD", said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow."
�I can't," said the LORD, "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck."
The angel circled the model very slowly. "Can it think?" she asked.
"You bet," said the LORD, "It can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes; recite Miranda warnings in it's sleep; detain, investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on the street in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the stop...and still it keeps it's sense of humor."
"This officer has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, and then read it in the daily paper how law enforcement isn't sensitive to the rights of criminal suspects."
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the officer. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much on this model."
"That's not a leak," said the LORD, "It's a tear."
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
"It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American Flag, for justice."
"You're a genius," said the angel.
The LORD looked somber. "I didn't put it there," he said.
Lt. Col. Jim Marchand
Chief, Security Forces
"Defenders Committed to World-Class Force Protection"
__________________
In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. JOHN 14:2
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11-12-2001 05:00 AM
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