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Venus and mars

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Topic: Venus and mars    
ToolkiT
VisorCentral Staff

Registered: Sep 1999
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 1883

Red face Venus and mars

never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT?" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to bed.

The very next day we went sho! pping at a big unnamed department store. I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say "OK".

And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was "OK."

She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."

You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then! said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during Spring 2006.

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ToolkiT is offline Old Post 04-01-2003 06:26 AM
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Yorick
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Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Out of my skull, back in five minutes
Posts: 1435

Thumbs up

ah hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Yorick is offline Old Post 04-01-2003 07:12 AM
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KRamsauer
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Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 734

You seriously did this?

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KRamsauer is offline Old Post 04-01-2003 01:47 PM
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K. Cannon
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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: South Carolina
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It's an email joke that's going around.

K. Cannon is offline Old Post 04-01-2003 03:59 PM
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KRamsauer
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Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Houston, TX
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Ah.

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KRamsauer is offline Old Post 04-01-2003 05:54 PM
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ToolkiT
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Registered: Sep 1999
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 1883

quote:
Originally posted by KRamsauer
You seriously did this?

Yesterday I would have answered Yes, but no, it is indeed an email joke..

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ToolkiT is offline Old Post 04-01-2003 10:57 PM
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KRamsauer
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Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 734

quote:
Originally posted by ToolkiT

Yesterday I would have answered Yes, but no, it is indeed an email joke..

I forgot you're a ton of hours ahead of us. For you "yesterday" is my "today" (right now, at least).

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KRamsauer is offline Old Post 04-01-2003 11:25 PM
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MarkEagle
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Registered: Dec 1999
Location: Connecticut USA
Posts: 2682

quote:
Originally posted by K. Cannon
It's an email joke that's going around.
I wouldn't say it's a joke... at least not at my house!

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MarkEagle is offline Old Post 04-02-2003 12:16 AM
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Yorick
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Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Out of my skull, back in five minutes
Posts: 1435

I got tooken!

Yorick is offline Old Post 04-02-2003 03:27 AM
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K. Cannon
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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1062

quote:
Originally posted by ToolkiT

Yesterday I would have answered Yes, but no, it is indeed an email joke..


Oop--didn't mean to step on your toes there, ToolkiT...

K. Cannon is offline Old Post 04-02-2003 02:16 PM
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ToolkiT
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Registered: Sep 1999
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 1883

quote:
Originally posted by K. Cannon

Oop--didn't mean to step on your toes there, ToolkiT...


No worries, you didn't..

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ToolkiT is offline Old Post 04-03-2003 01:21 AM
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K. Cannon
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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1062

quote:
Originally posted by ToolkiT
No worries, you didn't..

Good deal!

K. Cannon is offline Old Post 04-03-2003 07:41 PM
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