Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 3034

Too many to list, but here are three off the top of my head (and a bonus fourth in my sig):

"If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker. It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance." - Jack Handey

People who can, do
People who can't, teach
People who think they know it all, are usually assholes
Pick which one you are. (hint-#3)

"Some Scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe." - Frank Zappa

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Aberdeen, SD
Posts: 2531

I will kiss the girl from Venus, for Science.
-TMBG

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-Joshua
Abortion: Darwinism at its finest.

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Here
Posts: 213

To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
- ? -

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Here
Posts: 213

There is an exception to every rule except for the rule that there is an exception to every rule. - George_VC -

Registered: Oct 1999
Location: Metro Station, Hollywood and Highland
Posts: 1018

It's pedantic, but . . .

quote:

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Originally posted by george_vc
To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
- ? -

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Registered: Oct 1999
Location: Metro Station, Hollywood and Highland
Posts: 1018

While I'm thinking of it

"It is not enough to succeed. Your best friend must fail." -- la Rouchefoucald

Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Out of my skull, back in five minutes
Posts: 1435

A few years ago I was consciously collecting these. I forget why. Likely because I hated my job and it kept me from gouging out my eyes.
I now have a file over 200 pages long, single spaced in 10 point type.

Envy is an admission of inferiority. - Victor Hugo

Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
-Frank Zappa

The awakened are few and hard to find
-Buddhist saying

MERRY CHRISTMAS, CRIME! Time to unwrap a thrashing!
- The Tick (in The Tick's Big Yule Log Special 2001)

I rarely use it myself, sir. It promotes rust.
-Robby the Robot, Forbidden Planet (1956)

I would insult your intelligence, but what would be the point? -Wobbly Headed Bob, JtHM

We're all in this alone. - Lily Tomlin

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. -- Thomas Edison

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

It is a sobering thought, for example, that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. -- Tom Lehrer

Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons! -- The Simpsons

I may go back to hating you. It was more fun.
-Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant), "North By Northwest"

One kind word can warm three winter months. -Japanese saying

Why I Work: A short essay
I like food. The end.
(seen on a greeting card)

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money. - Gary Larson (cartoon caption)

We can't all and some of us don't. That's all there is to it. -Eeyore (A. A. Milne)

The only easy day was yesterday. - U.S. Navy SEALs saying

Eighty percent of air pollution comes from plants and trees. -- Ronald Reagan, famous movie star (among other things)

"Bob hates you all"
-message on a sidewalk in Boston

and finally, from "Hamlet" --

... a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy ...

added the Hamlet quote 'cause it's not in my sig anymore (whups)

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The light at the end of your tunnel has been disconnected due to non-payment. Please remit funds immediately for restoration of hope.

Last edited by Yorick on 07-03-2001 at 12:31 AM

Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Derry NH USA Earth
Posts: 154

My sig, though I'd very much like to find out who originally said it. I found it on a button in the Computer Museum's (Boston) gift shop..

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<div align="left"><font size="+2" color="#FF8000">Mike</font>
<hr width="200">
<font color="Red"><i>Programming is the struggle between programmers<br> building bigger and better idiot proof systems<br> and the universe building bigger and better idiots</i></font>
<hr width="200">
<b><a href="http://enhanceyourlife.com">http://enhanceyourlife.com</a><br>
<a href="http://www.furrbrain.com">http://www.furrbrain.com</a></b></div>

Registered: Nov 1999
Location: New York, New York
Posts: 560

quote:

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Originally posted by enhanceyourlife
My sig, though I'd very much like to find out who originally said it. I found it on a button in the Computer Museum's (Boston) gift shop..

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Felipe Garcia
Happy Treo 600 user, so far. Thanx Cingular for having an unlocked phone.

My Treo 600 is my phone, my PDA, my watch, and my MP3 player. Oh yeah, I take a picture once in a while with it. Convergence is such a great thing.

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Mountain View, CA
Posts: 211

To invent something you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
-?-

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<FONT face="verdana,arial,helvetica" size="1" >NetCaptor and Odigo Rule!<i></font>
"The Internet is now on computers?"
Homer Simpson

Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 3034

quote:

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Originally posted by Yorick
Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
-Frank Zappa

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Registered: Oct 1999
Location: I'm not sure, but I see lots of lights everywhere.
Posts: 1287

"You have made a powerful enemy today, my friend" --- Monty Burns (Simpsons) talking to a snack vending machine that failed to deliver the goods.

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My blog: Pocketfactory

Registered: Sep 1999
Location: at work...
Posts: 736

quote:

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Originally posted by Toby


quote:
Eighty percent of air pollution comes from plants and trees. -- Ronald Reagan, famous movie star (among other things)

Considering that according to the Kyoto treaty CO2 is considered a Bad Thing�, he was quite likely correct.

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Registered: Dec 1999
Location:
Posts: 239

Another reply from someone who hasn't studied botany in a long time......

Isn't the process reversed at night, and plants take in oxygen and give off carbon dioxide? That's why terrariums can function in bascially a sealed environment.

Is there a botanist in the house?

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Soul Raven - "Sm� hjerne, stor gl�de"
Wherever you go, there you are.

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Aberdeen, SD
Posts: 2531

During the day, plants take in CO2 (boy, doesn't that look terrible? If only HTML code were ON...), combine it with water and energy from the sun to create O2 and sugar. At night, plants take in O2 to burn the sugar which releases energy, H20, and CO2. It's more complicated, but that's the gist of it.

__________________
-Joshua
Abortion: Darwinism at its finest.

Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 3034

quote:

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Originally posted by Rob
Ummm...it's been a looooooooong time since my bio & chem classes, but don't trees & plants take in CO2 and emit O2? If CO2 is pollution, then plants are natural air 'scrubbers'.

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Well...I must've been napping. You're right, sorta. It's the people that are the problem. So, if you want to do your part to reduce greenhouse gases, you must stop breathing.

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Them Twin Cities
Posts: 1758

quote:

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Originally posted by dick-richardson
During the day, plants take in CO2 (boy, doesn't that look terrible? If only HTML code were ON...), combine it with water and energy from the sun to create O2 and sugar. At night, plants take in O2 to burn the sugar which releases energy, H20, and CO2. It's more complicated, but that's the gist of it.

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Don't like somebody? Click "Profile" on a post and then click "Ignore "so and so's" posts". Voila!

Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 3034

quote:

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Originally posted by dietrichbohn
Bottom Line: Ronny was none too bright, or at the very least appeared to be none too bright.

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Registered: Sep 1999
Location: at work...
Posts: 736

quote:

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Originally posted by Yorick
A few years ago I was consciously collecting these. I forget why. Likely because I hated my job and it kept me from gouging out my eyes.

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I know what you mean. I must have collected 100s of them during grad school.

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Them Twin Cities
Posts: 1758

quote:

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Originally posted by Toby
Or the other possibility is that he never said it.

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True. However:

quote:

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"I�m trying to recall events that happened eighteen months ago, I�m afraid that I let myself be influenced by others� recollections, not my own.... The only honest answer is to state that try as I might, I cannot recall anything whatsoever about whether I approved an Israeli sale in advance or whether I approved replenishment of Israeli stocks around August of 1985. My answer therefore and the simple truth is, �I don�t remember, period.�"

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Don't like somebody? Click "Profile" on a post and then click "Ignore "so and so's" posts". Voila!