Drakion
Member

Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Lexington, Ma
Posts: 138 |
insane ramblings of a 14 year old
yeah well im in a horribly freaken bad mood right now. to start i just got my report card from second quarter back and my parents are pissed. got alot of c's because i cant concentrate on my work. i got an incomplete in english because she never finished correcting my assignments. now that was 3 weeks ago, im still wondering what the hell my grade is. i cant concentrate on my work because of all the people around me. i hate it. i was born and adopted in new york, moved to massachusetts when i was 4 and went to private christian school until this year of 9th grade. i hate most of the kids at this school. before going to the local highschool this year, i played pop warner football for the town the season before and obviously i met kids from the public school. none of them liked me, really and i still dont know why. i met a couple of kids, mostly the cheerleaders, which are butt ugly, and became friends with them. i transitioned from my good friends being in my private school of 120 (kindergarten to 12th grade) with all of 8 kids in the class to being good friends with the cheerleaders and people. i had a dating relationship with a girl for 11 months in which i became "in love" with. that was total horse load. at the start of the school year, i was still friends with all these kids and now im not, why? because i changed. none of them were on the football team i played for, none of them lived in the same area as i did, and none of them really gave any care in me. football was a blast, the people were total @#$%heads. my coach was a prude, and i still hate him to this day. i didnt get the quarterbacking position i wanted, because the kid that did was the son of the local liquor store owner. big shot in town. what was left was kissing butt when the wind got knocked out of him and i had to fill in. i tried giving my all, and it was never scene by anybody. the whole time the coach had me whipped by a leather strap, literally. i did everything he said, and why? i dont even know. i played the positions he wanted me to, i did what he wanted me to do, but never got the credit i believe i deserved. the first play of the last game of the season, i ran back the kickoff for a touchdown. the kids on my team went wild, the girls in the stands went wild. and everybody screamed my name, wether it was skivi the girls call me or my real name schiavi....but the next moth@#%$@#ing day, not one of the kids on my team acknowledged me at all. hell, none of them even talked to me. the girls do, or did, but i never became great friends like the rest of them had, with anybody. during the whole season me and a couple of kids had to tag along to the varsity games to help out with water, stats and medical. yet another reason i have a brown nose. who came with us? mr big named quarterback, his best friend mr big named fullback and me....me who...me NOBODY. i just dont get it....one day im on the field and everyones screaming my name, either one...and they all love me. the next day, when i dont have a helmet on, they dont even notice me. im not noticed at that school and definatly not cared for by anybody there. now im sitting here, listening to old friends screaming at me about how im being used by my "new friends"..."why havent you found your clique yet, how come you dont sit with kids in the morning, how come you eat lunch alone?" and i brought it up to one girl i know, and she said not to listen to them...but its pretty damn hard not to, when you sit at home friday night, saturday night, and sunday night, never getting invited to go anywhere, with anyone...even though i go to their school, im definatly not important at all. i sit here listening to marilyn manson and popping bb gun pellets into pieces of paper to vent. i dont know what the hell has happened to me but i definatly dont want to stay here. im going to bed
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