Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posts: 415

Witness my downfall

In gleaming dayglow technicolor.

With a tripple summersault on the way down.

sit back and relax as I mess up all my plans. with a mere flick of the wrist. Or rather, by simply not going to bed. And far more precisely, by not waking up for school.

Not doing my homework is merely the powdered sugar on the luscious creme filled doughnut of my missapropriated time.

mmmm. doughnuts.

but, i digress.


I don't het anything done, because I keep telling myself "if I start a project now, Ill never get to bed." In the end, of course, i only end up playing video games or surfing untill a ridiculous hour at night anyways. Everything seems like an excuse not to do homework. Any stupid excuse is enough for me to put off anything productive; Other people being home, working on a new desk, buying socks.


Text seems insufficient to express the frustartions I have with myself over this.

nevertheless, here goes.

AHHJWHGFHJWGFGHFWJGHFHJDGFSFAGHAGFAFAFDADARQRWEFDFBGSBDSBBCSCSDDDDDDDDDDDDDdddddddffffffffffffssshhh
hd.

That sounded even wierder out loud.

I tried getting myself banned from all the forums that eat up my time, uninstalled my video games, everything. I just keep finding stupider ways to waste my time.

Did you know that Including this little outburst, that over the past couple of days I have written almost a page of crap about I am screwing up my life, and that had I only written half of that on the subject of spectroscopy, I would actually have a completed lab report?

Its true!. check the facts; the facts check out!

Oh god. this is so long. Maybe if I didn't HATE SCHOOL SO MUCH. i would do better. I hate school. I hate work. I hate everything except playing Tac-Ops, and I suck at that.

In conclusion:

"WHEEEE! into the abyss!"

__________________
-thorin

I have a webcomic. You should read it, or I may do something rash. <b><a href=http://driveby.keenspace.com/>Drive-by Loitering</a></b> is updated every monday, wednesday and friday.

<!img src=http://www.frontfly.com/myrouter/vcsig2.gif alt="Soundsgood is too elite for the punks."><img src=http://www.frontfly.com/vcsig.gif ><!img src=http://www.frontfly.com/myrouter/vcsig2.gif alt="Soundsgood is too elite for the punks.">

Registered: Nov 1999
Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan USA
Posts: 790

Ouch!

If you don't mind my asking, how old are you?

This is a real suggestion, not a wise-as* remark: have you considered being evaluated for depression?

__________________
Jeff

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posts: 415

tengo 20 a�os.

at least i got up at 6am today(5 hours of sleep, which is fair enough, because i slept for 13+ hours for the last couple of nights), which means I will go to my courses for the first time in 2 days, and not get kicked out. horray.

im not depressed. and if i am, its over my lack of willpower and excessive laziness.

__________________
-thorin

I have a webcomic. You should read it, or I may do something rash. <b><a href=http://driveby.keenspace.com/>Drive-by Loitering</a></b> is updated every monday, wednesday and friday.

<!img src=http://www.frontfly.com/myrouter/vcsig2.gif alt="Soundsgood is too elite for the punks."><img src=http://www.frontfly.com/vcsig.gif ><!img src=http://www.frontfly.com/myrouter/vcsig2.gif alt="Soundsgood is too elite for the punks.">

Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Nebraska- the Good life
Posts: 695

Thorin- forgive me, but you do sound like you maybe need a bit of help at this point. A lot of people in your situation do. Lots of stress, lots of things to think about, lots of deadlines- real and imagined.

I know how it is to hate school and try to mess yourself up about it. I also know that, in the scheme of things, grades and school are not that important for most of us- your work history means more in the long run (unless you have plans for college and post-grad stuff).

But, these bad habits have a way of following you to work and in other areas of your life. If school s***s, work probably will as well.

If your school offers counseling, get some. Sometimes just talking to someone who knows what they are talking about will help!

__________________
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are at!

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Them Twin Cities
Posts: 1758

quote:

---

Originally posted by thorin
im not depressed. and if i am, its over my lack of willpower and excessive laziness.

---

__________________
Don't like somebody? Click "Profile" on a post and then click "Ignore "so and so's" posts". Voila!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Aberdeen, SD
Posts: 2531

BTW, that was a great post, Thorin. It was a self-contained marvel. Well met.

Once again, mental dysfunction leads to great art.

__________________
-Joshua
Abortion: Darwinism at its finest.

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Them Twin Cities
Posts: 1758

quote:

---

Originally posted by dick-richardson
Once again, mental dysfunction leads to great art.

---

...which explains the ramble quite well.

__________________
Don't like somebody? Click "Profile" on a post and then click "Ignore "so and so's" posts". Voila!

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 217

quote:

---

Originally posted by septimus

Depression don't necessarily mean sadness, it often also means "whateverness" Check into it.

---

__________________
Mike
I'd rather be upside down in my kayak than rightside up at my desk.

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Alive and well on VisorCentral.com
Posts: 861

I used to be like you thorin when I was in school, it's really hard to get motivated to do something you just soooooo don't care at all about..

But I have found over the years its just better to get it over and done with.. they have a nice word for folks like us, procrastinators..

It's always getting started on that term paper or homework assignment that is the worst, once you do get going, I then found I was sufficiently motivated to get it done with and out of my hair... (that has its own rewards)..

You have already started to realize this (from what I can see in your posts).. maybe on a sub conscious level anyway (i.e. getting yourself banned, etc..)


You will eventually find your way....

__________________
"One of the most important things you learn from the internet is that there is no �them� out there. It�s just an awful lot of �us�." -- Douglas Adams

Registered: Nov 1999
Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan USA
Posts: 790

septimus and jupe - Thank you both for explaining my point. Not caring about or enjoying stuff you used to, too much or too little sleep, changes in weight, reduction in intrest in sex, drop in performance at school or work - any of these could point to medical depression without feeling "blue" or "depressed".

Seriously, get yourself checked out by a professional that specializes in diagnosing depression. The worst thing about it is that the "who cares" or "whatever" gets in the way of getting help.

If it is depression, don't keep it to yourself. Tell people who care about you so they can help you want to get help.

Believe me, you don't have to stay in bed all day, or fail out of school, or lose a job, or lose a relationship to be depressed. It's in degrees. Mild depression mostly makes it hard to do anything or care that much. Drugs help, even mild depression.

__________________
Jeff

Last edited by PDAENVY on 05-15-2002 at 07:50 PM

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posts: 415

quote:

---

Originally posted by PDAENVY
intrest in sex

---

well those frustrations are a whole other, much less fun to read rant.

quote:

---

Originally posted by PDAENVY
drop in performance at school or work

---

Its always been like this though. elementry and highschool were just easy enought to coast through without trying.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Septimus

You may be lazy, but it seems like you just aren't able to work up the energy to care. Depression don't necessarily mean sadness, it often also means "whateverness" Check into it..

---

[/B][/QUOTE]


that is interesting.

quote:

---

orginally posed with dick-richardson
BTW, that was a great post, Thorin. It was a self-contained marvel. Well met.

---

thank you. I was wondering if it was a bit pretentious, but i guess the doughnut analogy balenced it out. and sarcastic commercial references such as "dayglow technicolor" are nicely modern/deconstructionist/arty. If i could have worked in a term like "only x shopping days left 'till", that would have been a nice touch.

__________________
-thorin

I have a webcomic. You should read it, or I may do something rash. <b><a href=http://driveby.keenspace.com/>Drive-by Loitering</a></b> is updated every monday, wednesday and friday.

<!img src=http://www.frontfly.com/myrouter/vcsig2.gif alt="Soundsgood is too elite for the punks."><img src=http://www.frontfly.com/vcsig.gif ><!img src=http://www.frontfly.com/myrouter/vcsig2.gif alt="Soundsgood is too elite for the punks.">

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Aberdeen, SD
Posts: 2531

quote:

---

Originally posted by septimus
...which explains the ramble quite well.

---

__________________
-Joshua
Abortion: Darwinism at its finest.

Registered: Feb 2002
Location: Washburn University in Topeka, KS
Posts: 450

Re: Witness my downfall

quote:

---

Originally posted by thorin

sit back and relax as I mess up all my plans. with a mere flick of the wrist. Or rather, by simply not going to bed. And far more precisely, by not waking up for school.

Not doing my homework is merely the powdered sugar on the luscious creme filled doughnut of my missapropriated time.

mmmm. doughnuts.

but, i digress.


I don't het anything done, because I keep telling myself "if I start a project now, Ill never get to bed." In the end, of course, i only end up playing video games or surfing untill a ridiculous hour at night anyways. Everything seems like an excuse not to do homework. Any stupid excuse is enough for me to put off anything productive; Other people being home, working on a new desk, buying socks.

---

__________________

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