Soul Raven
Member
Registered: Dec 1999
Location:
Posts: 239 |
While I haven't worked at Sprint, I have worked for a couple of phone companies, and I know that they discouraged humans working there. When I was there, about 15-20% were humans, and the rest were.....well, they were some sort of cyborg/parasite organism. Oh, they looked human enough, but believe me, they were not. You could see them shuffle in at precisely 8:00 AM, sit down in their cubicle and start sipping their iced-tea while they ponder ways to call in sick the day after Thanksgiving and still get paid for the holiday, until they stand up and shuffle out of the building at precisely 5:00 PM. They have no thought or care as to what actually occurs during the day, as long as they get paid for their forty hours, and for one hour of overtime when they forgot to clock out and spent all that time in the breakroom discussing what happened last night on "Beverly Hills 90210". Their apathy knows no bounds. I saw one of these things talking to someone on the phone glance up at the clock and noticed that it was almost 5 minutes past 5:00 PM. They said, "Can you hang on a minute?", put the person on Hold, gathered up their personal items, and walked out! The best part is, we were Internal Customer Service, so the person on the other end was an employee of the same company, just in a different city.
You can identify them with a few simple tests, the most obvious of which is to strap them down to a flat surface and make a large incision ventrally along the creature's torso. Being a one-celled organism, you will find a standard gelatin-filled cavity, along with ribosomes, mitochondria, and other organic material. The downside of this is that, sometimes, mistakes do happen, and most Homo Sapiens I have met object to having their internal organs vented to the outside air in such a manner. I propose a much simpler test. When a suspected non-human approaches you for assistance for, oh, say, copying text from one computer program to another, tell them "Click and drag with the mouse to select the text, press the Control and 'C' keys on the keyboard, then go over to the other program, click with the mouse to get the cursor where you want the text to be, and press the Control and 'V' keys on the keyboard". If they come back in 5 minutes and tell you that it didn't work, and could you just come take a look at it, there's your non-human.
I remember when I left there. It was a bright, clear Monday, as nice a day as you could ask for, given the huge variation of different atmospheric conditions. I was returning to my place of employment from lunch (they were putting mind-control drugs in the cafeteria food, I swear they were!....or, at least, I think they were......), and I stopped halfway across the parking lot. It had finally happened: I could no longer hear the hum of the hive-mind. It was beginning, I was becoming one of them. I walked...no, I ran away. I know that I left my little Lego Qui-Gon Jinn and Darth Maul fighting eternally next to my Inbox, but it was a sacrifice I had to make. I think the important thing is that I am not bitter. 
As far as SprintPCS goes, I called 888-211-4727. Since I am not a SprintPCS customer, I hit "0" when prompted to enter my SprintPCS number. It didn't believe me, so I hit it a few more times. After that, it took me to the automated menu (1 for billing, 2 for voicemail, etc.). I hit "0" again, and was transferred to the next available representative. Since all of their SprintPCS representatives were currently assisting other callers, I stayed on Hold so that my call could be answered in the order it was received. Since they thanked me for calling, because they know I have many choices, I knew they were grateful for my business. I was on Hold for 18 minutes, 10 seconds, when a voice thanked me for calling SprintPCS and identified itself as Terri. I spell that with an "i" since the voice seemed to have a female tone. We would have to do further testing to determine if she (it?) was human or non-human, but I am guessing from the happy, shiny way she greeted me, she is non-human. No real person is that cheerful at 9:00 AM, especially when they have people like me calling and hanging up on them, but you may want to give it a try anyway.
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Soul Raven - "Sm� hjerne, stor gl�de"
Wherever you go, there you are.
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07-11-2001 05:55 AM
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