septimus
VisorCentral Staff

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Them Twin Cities
Posts: 1758 |
50 ways to leave your Visor.
50 ways to leave your Visor
A short instructional guide
Step 1: Take your Visor and Visorphone, permanently attach them, and start working on form factor.
Step 2: Muck up the FCC filing for your fly new handheld.
Step 3: PreAnnounce your new handheld to deal with Step 2.
Step 4: Notice that gigantic freight train behind you, that's SONY. Get out of the way.
Step 5: Release 2 handhelds with pretty new cases so it looks like you're working, meanwhile give up on fighting Sony.
commentary on Step 5: why did they even bother, if they're thinking that there's no point to the Visor anymore?
Step 6: Send your dreamy exec to Comdex with demo units. wow everybody.
Step 7: Have your exec start making funny hints as to the release date of you new handheld., the treo.
Step 8: Discover, too late, that you have a parts shortage for the Treo.
commentary on Step 8: How long do you suppose they've known this? Either way, their failure to control the rumor mill (see below) has seriously hurt them, because we want it now, dammit, now.
Step 9: Call up former PALM executives, and ask them how they dealt with their mucked-up pre-announcement.
Step 10: Recall that when Palm pre-announced, their release was delayed because of parts shortages. You are now up the same creek.
commentary on Step 10: the PreAnnouncement doesn't seem so smart anymore, does it?
Step 11: Knowing, finally, that your parts shortage is going to seriously delay your release date, relax because you never actually put forth a release date, just Q1.
commentary on Step 11: phew! close one! 
Step 12: Panic when you realize that what you said doesn't matter in the PDA business, what matters is what you allowed to become rumor.
commentary on Step 12: and they did. Hawkins talked. They were obviously talking fast and loose with Pogue.
Step 13: Troll the boards and realize the PalmOS groupies are becoming restless.
commentary on Step 13: Why can't they just leave you alone? Because they like you, they really like you. Don't forget that... oops, you did.
Step 14: Hold a conference call, dropping the bomb you've been hanging onto since Step 5 so that nobobody notices Step 10.
commentary on Step 14: why do corporations always hold "conference calls" for these announcements. Doesn't anybody have the cojones to just hold a press conference? How about a press release? Hello?
Step 15: Pray for parts.
Step 16: Repeat Step 15.
Step 17: Get the Treo on the shelves late, about the same time as your competitors new wireless handheld, which you've heard somewhere is called Skywalker--though you haven't really been paying attention.
Step 18: Wonder why you lost the business segment to your competitor. Wonder why the phrase, "head start," was so important to this.
commentary on Step 18: dumb dumb dumb
Steps 19-49 Look for another job as your company goes bankrupt.
commentary on 19-49: Foo, you are the smartest man alive
Step 50: Read email sent to you by a certain dietrichbohn, thanking your for the wonderful product he won in a contest. Shed a small tear as he condoles you on the loss of your company and asks why, with such a great product, you went under.
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