DBrown
Member
Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Midwest
Posts: 232 |
 Pet Peeves are for the immature.
Pet Peeves are for the immature. If you have them you are letting the actions of other people add stress and tension to your life, even though there is little you are likely to do about it.
I could get irritated at my students for never cleaning up after themselves in the workshop. Instead, I realized that the mess irritated only me, and so I started cleaning it up. The students, seeing the example I led with, began cleaning up after themselves. The other professors asked how I got my students to clean up. Not by telling them to, but by showing them that I clean up, and it's worth doing.
I could get upset when someone fails to signal a turn, or leaves a signal light on. But I realized that it is MY interpretation of the law that made their failure to abide by it upset me. Instead, I'm happy to just make sure that I signal, and always turn my signal OFF if I'm not turning. It's all I can do, and it's enough.
The 4 year old son of a woman I dated liked full glasses of whatever he was drinking ("Full to the top, Mom!"). He tended to hold them shakily and occasionally would drop the full glass. It made me nervous to watch him carry a glass. I could have insisted that he not carry full glasses, and reprimand him for dropping them when he did. Instead, I told him about how I used to drop glasses as a kid, and the tricks I learned to prevent it: 1st, I'd sip some liquid off the top before carrying it. 2nd, I'd hook the little finger of one or both hands UNDER the glass, so that even if my grip slipped, the glass would not fall thru my hands. It took him a day or two to "master" my trick, and he hasn't dropped a glass since.
Don't expect others to live by your standards, and you won't be disappointed by them. Set a good example, and if you're lucky, you'll influence a few of them to change their behavior. Don't point out problems unless you can suggest a reasonable and preferable solution or alternative. Stepping into another's shoes occasionally helps you see the world from their viewpoint. You may suddenly see why they do what they do, and understand and forgive.
OK, I'm sorry for preaching. It occurs to me that I may become YOUR pet peeve. So nevermind.
Dave ;-)
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03-02-2001 07:42 PM
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